Episode 40
· 32:25
Hey, pals. As we mentioned in the episode, this is our first visceral reactions to the shooting at club q earlier this month. More details have emerged including that the shooter is now identifying as, quote, non binary. There have been many hot takes on this but even a a little bit of research makes it clear that this claim is being used to probably get a lighter sentence and, as not to be charged with a hate crime. Probably an outright disgusting troll to cause further pain to the victims as well.
Alex Cox:But honestly, if the shooter is somehow non binary, it does not matter. It doesn't mean that this wasn't an act of hate explicitly meant to strike fear into the heart of the LGBTQ community. Internalized transphobia, homophobia, and queerphobia exist and have led to violence in the past as well. But more importantly, now that we know more about the victims, we wanted to just name them to highlight the wonderful folks who were taken from their communities. Daniel Aston, Kelly loving, Ashley Paugh, Derek Rump, Raymond Green Vance.
Alex Cox:One more remarkable part of this story, the attacker was actually subdued by a retired vet named Richard Fierro who was at the club with his wife and daughter along with a trans woman who stomped on the shooter with her heels. We don't know who she is but wow. That's badass. The New York Times got this statement from Fierro after he learned of the multiple deaths in the club. Quote, in part, he cried because he knew what lay ahead.
Alex Cox:The families of the dead, the people who were shot had now been in war like he had. They would struggle like he had and so many of his combat buddies had. They would ache with misplaced vigilance, they would lash out in anger, never be able to scratch the itch of fear, be torn by the longing to forget and the urge to always remember. I mean this with 0 irony. Thank you for your service, both Richard Farrow and the unnamed trans woman with heels.
Alex Cox:I don't think that I would have, been able to protect the people in the fearless way you did. Alright. Onto the episode. Hello. I'm Alex Cox.
Mattie Cox:And I'm Maddie Cox.
Mattie Cox:This is a show about gender, our minds, and all sorts of transitions.
Alex Cox:Welcome to 2 Headed Girl.
Mattie Cox:That was sad. Don't say it like that. Welcome.
Alex Cox:Welcome. I wish that we were talking to you under happier circumstances. This morning, November 20th, which is trans day of remembrance 2022, I woke up to find that there had been a mass shooting at an LGBTQ club in Colorado, and a gunman had killed 5 people. And as of now, we know that 25 other people have died. 25 people?
Alex Cox:25 at least yes. Killing at least 5 people and injuring 25 others as of 628 628 CST at, the Washington Post. Normally, we don't like to do episodes of 2 Headed Girl that I wouldn't say are re reactionary, but were not really a news based show. But it felt like we needed a not needed. We we wanted to talk about this.
Alex Cox:You and I kept talking about this off air all day, and it really struck a chord, which is a dark thing to say because every mass shooting in America should hit you really hard. But there are just so many that we wouldn't be able to function if that were the case. But this one didn't just hit us hard because all of the victims were in a space that was supposed to be safe for queer people, but it comes at arguably the height of hostility towards trans people in America, possibly ever, honestly.
Mattie Cox:You were saying you were saying to me the other day when I was, like, I don't I don't know what to record about for our audience because I feel like there's an oversaturation of certain stuff. And you were saying to me, but a lot of our audience are allies. And I think that this is actually a really important thing to bring up to allies now that it it is, like, the highest amount of trans violence that we've seen. I don't know.
Alex Cox:The a a lot of the time, you and I are telling people our stories, but not we're we're helping our audience is pretty much, obviously, people who are not transphobic, but a lot of people just either don't know about the trans experience or they don't understand, and all of that is fine and good. They're completely supportive, have no issue with trans people. And
Mattie Cox:And I would say a lot of the a lot of the experiences we share with things we encounter don't focus on violence and focus on positive things and positive impact or how to navigate things in a way with not even necessarily a positive outcome, but with a neutral outcome. Like, we don't talk about any hate or violence really that happens usually.
Alex Cox:Right. There are other places to get that in a a more timely manner. But if you're listening to this and you are trans, you have probably heard about this. And, honestly, if you're listening to this right now, you already know about the shooting in Colorado. But if you're trans or queer, you're probably not surprised by it, whereas Mhmm.
Alex Cox:Everyone I've talked to you today who is straight is, you know, shocked. Obviously, we are all shocked and appalled. Like, there's I think there's a difference between being, like, shocked and surprised because, yes, it it's shocking and horrible, and the wound is so is so raw. But none of us were surprised by this because, 1, gun violence in America is really, really pervasive. But 2, this has happened before, notably the Pulse shooting in Orlando and the the anti what can only be called, like, the anti trans hate machine on what I I mean, you could argue is the far right, but honestly has just become a mainstay of all conservatives and republicans in America has escalated to the point where people are literally dying.
Alex Cox:Trans people are once again a, the victims of a terrorist attack. This this was meant to put fear into our hearts, and the shooter was successful, basically.
Mattie Cox:And I think, obviously, it's even moot to say, but, like, obviously, happening on Trans Day of Remembrance where we take a breath to honor and remember the trans people that have been killed this year. And it happening today, like
Alex Cox:The night like, the
Mattie Cox:night before yeah. The night before is it feels like a double whammy because it's like you don't even get a second to breathe and mourn and, like, reach and help out for the people that have been hurt this year or, you know, like, it's just
Alex Cox:Yeah.
Mattie Cox:There's not even time to reflect. You and I were just talking about how things have gotten worse for trans people, and I was sad and upset. And I just couldn't put my finger on the exact reason. Like, I asked you what you think the specific reason is because there's always been hate and fear mongering around the queer community, and it's just escalating so much in the past year. I was like, why why do you think that is besides Republicans, basically?
Alex Cox:I and the answer the easy answer is the far right. Lots of folks would like to say that it was Trump, which is a really simplistic answer. Anyone any Republican president would have, amplified these messages. Arguably, Trump wasn't as good at at it. He I mean, he was great at spreading hate in the most, you know, nefarious ways verbally.
Alex Cox:Tons of horrific legislation was passed, but don't think that some another conservative wouldn't have done this. Any Republican crypto fascist here over on Dubai Friday? Or, oh, on 2 edit, girl? Jesus.
Mattie Cox:I'm saying wrong energy to bring to this show.
Alex Cox:Wrong energy. Hey. People mourn differently. For me, it's screaming about fascism.
Mattie Cox:We kept talking, and I brought up the fact that once gay marriage was made legal, and in it started to I felt like things slowly started to get better. Like, gay marriage was becoming legal in more countries and and other places that, like, we never thought it would become legal. And then I felt comfortable, like, being out and proud and being out with you and and slowly more and more over the past few years. And but, especially, this year, I've felt like
Alex Cox:Mhmm.
Mattie Cox:I felt like I'm I'm safer being stealth. Like, I I felt like I can't show you affection in public or, like, you were saying, like, we feel uncomfortable holding hands. Mhmm. Yeah. Literally, this summer when I was oh, in June, when I was wearing, like, my trans rights are human rights rights and, like, my tank tops that said, like, trans lives matter and things like that, I felt self conscious about, like, people seeing me.
Mattie Cox:And that was something I've never felt before since I've come out unless I've we've been in, like, a a another state or something, you know, especially because we live in Chicago.
Alex Cox:A few friends and I were joking because they're black, and I was like, it's like, oh, now we can all feel, how how trans fans of color have felt since the sixties. Yay. But it's you're you're right. It is palpable now. And you and I even our friend, Merlin, pointed this out, you know, even, like, in 2016 when we were all still blissed out on Obama and the myth of meritocracy, it was like, hey.
Alex Cox:We're the cute lesbian. Like, yeah. Isn't it awesome? And now we are seen, even sometimes in our own neighborhoods, as literal predators. I wouldn't say
Mattie Cox:I oh, I well, I wouldn't say that, but I would say
Alex Cox:Well, neither would I.
Mattie Cox:No. Well, no. No. No. I would say it just it makes me feel unsafe to be seen openly trans by myself and for us together.
Mattie Cox:Because even at brunch a few weekends ago, I was, like, is this waiter, like, being transphobic? Like, I couldn't because we were getting, like, weird looks, and I just couldn't tell. You know?
Alex Cox:Mhmm. And you might say, well, that's no big deal. And it isn't until suddenly It is if
Mattie Cox:it makes you feel unsafe. Violent. Yeah.
Alex Cox:The thing that I grapple with is if what all of these reactionary just the like, the fucking Matt Walsh and Ben Shapiro's and and fucking JK Rowling's of of the world. If what they were saying was even remotely true. And I thought that there were people trying to harm my kid, and I thought that, like, I I could I understand. Like, I wonder if I was a parent during the satanic panic, if I would be like, oh my god. Satanists are going to hurt my kids.
Alex Cox:You know?
Mattie Cox:Yeah. Yeah.
Alex Cox:And that's what's so scary is I I mean, we'll talk about it in a second. The this man knew what he was doing, but so much of the hate around trans people right now is out of, basically, a terrorist rhetoric.
Mattie Cox:Oh, I was gonna say, like, fearmongering and then, like, ignorance and and, like, listening to, like, false sore like, listening to false sources, ignorance, and fearmongering.
Alex Cox:I I I that's the thing, though. I almost it's almost entirely fearmongering because the the misinformation out there against trans people,
Mattie Cox:it's It's being trans as a trend. Our kids are mutilating their bodies. Mhmm. They're seeing trans trans people, and they want to be trans. Like, parents are grooming their kids to be a certain way, all those things.
Alex Cox:Yeah. I don't think we are saying anything surprising or new to anybody, except that there still are some straight people who don't really get how dangerous things have become. We've mentioned it before, but there's legislation across the country putting more and more trans kids in danger. Most famously in Texas. Greg Abbott, passing or, putting in the executive order that social services can take a trans kid out of not not even necessarily a trans kid, but if social services thinks that a kid is transitioning and being given gender affirming care, that is a social worker can take that kid out of the home for no other reason.
Alex Cox:And the infamous don't say gay bill in Florida, now it's not just don't say gay, it is completely illegal for a minor to receive gender affirming care with their parents' consent.
Mattie Cox:This affects me in a way that I haven't wanted to follow something all the time every day before, and it also affects me in a way that I feel like it's so exhausting to keep up with all the negative things that happen every day, but I feel the the need to, in a way, to positively be a part of the community, because I know that I am in the lower demographic of people that need to be afraid. It's mostly, trans women of color that experience the most violence and now, trans kids. But, like, yeah. I think about it every day. I I wish I could do more to help, honestly.
Mattie Cox:Like, I don't other than, like, donating money and sharing resources Yeah. And staying informed. Like, I feel helpless, honestly.
Alex Cox:Yeah. We all have we're in the trans community. It's $20, and we keep passing it around
Mattie Cox:Yeah.
Alex Cox:Until someone gets shot. And then that,
Mattie Cox:that would be should. Yeah.
Alex Cox:Well, yeah, the way I process things is in a making dark, creepy,
Mattie Cox:creepy jokes.
Alex Cox:But even today, actually, I kind of woke up. I read this and tried I I did mostly stay offline and, but a a what kind of started this conversation? Or by conversation, I mean, Matt and I venting and mourning together, mostly me venting at him. But the shooter is actually the grandson of a republican assemblyman in Florida. And his daughter, the mother of the shooter, has written multiple posts praising her alt right, not not even is it even alt right anymore?
Alex Cox:Just her far right father, on Facebook. But what was the huge again, not surprising, but absolutely shocking is that the shooter was arrested in 2021 after his mother reported to the police he was threatening to harm her with a homemade bomb and multiple weapons. According to the El Paso County Sheriff's Office, he was arrested after a standoff and charged with 6 felonies, but he was not prosecuted. Records show the El Paso County District Attorney has not commented on why the case was dropped. Authorities said the Colorado Springs active shooting is being investigated through the quote lens of a hate crime, but that has not been definitively determined.
Alex Cox:End of long reading.
Mattie Cox:Yeah. And you well, you said an article was released and read it to me, and then we were talking about the right. And then I was just I just wanted to know why it was getting so much worse, basically.
Alex Cox:And that's where my that that and that's where my fascism rant from before came in.
Mattie Cox:Well and also that I needed a more detailed explanation than than just Trump because, like
Alex Cox:Yeah. Most people are just like, oh, Trump.
Mattie Cox:I mean, I I knew partly why, like, the rise of extremism in America. Like, I I knew, but I just again, I feel like I can't like, I don't know what to do to help other than keep rating, be aware, and also, like, donate money where I can. But other than making literally, other than making people aware of it, because it was Trans week of Awareness, I don't know I don't know what else to do to garner help, like voting, obviously.
Alex Cox:Mhmm.
Mattie Cox:But I feel defeated. Yeah. And I can't imagine how trans kids feel, and I can't imagine how parents of trans kids feel. And I just
Alex Cox:it's Yeah. If you are a parent of a trans kid right now, you're awesome. Well, I assume if you're a a parent of a trans kid and listening to this, you are awesome. If you're someone who is on the fence, don't worry. You can still be awesome.
Alex Cox:Just love your kids.
Mattie Cox:I think my final thought is just that I don't I don't know. I just want allies to do as much as they can to support the queer people around them or the trans people around them if they know anyone.
Alex Cox:Mhmm. Just like the Me Too movement was all about believing women. Believe trans people when we say that things are getting much worse. And, you know, like we said, if you're the parent of a trans kid, you you are awesome. Believe trans kids and believe trans kids' parents.
Mattie Cox:I think we stopped talking and wanting to record about this because, obviously, because it's so important, but also because I feel at a loss for what to do, and I think you do too.
Alex Cox:You're right. I am at a loss. It seems like once a week, we hear about another drag queen story hour event at the library being, you know, threatened by a proud boy, a proud boy. They're all cowards. Not a single proud boy would show up.
Alex Cox:No. Multiple proud boys are showing up at libraries, showing up at schools. And we are what are we supposed to do in that case? You know?
Mattie Cox:Yeah. I think I genuinely think the only thing we can do is make people aware and hope more people want positive change than negative change. And maybe that's super naive. But, like, that that's literally all we can do. Like, I feel like that's it.
Alex Cox:I I know. Because our our audience, you all are lovely. You know? And you know you are wonderful people. You are either queer or you care about the queer people in your lives.
Alex Cox:And I just
Mattie Cox:I always think, and I've been thinking a lot more lately about the end of our first episode. You said, what do you want people to know about trans people, about being trans? And I just said, trans people are just people, and we just want it to be treated like human beings, like everyone else. And I think we need to remember that kids like like, kids need to be able to advocate for themselves. Like, you need to believe kids.
Mattie Cox:You know? I don't know a better way to put it than, like, their parents are advocating for them, but people need to treat trans kids as people because they are people. They're not just trans. They're not different. They're not they shouldn't be other.
Mattie Cox:They're not monsters. They're just people. They're just little people who want to live their lives in a way that isn't horrifying, in a way that every day isn't terrible or scary or sad. They just want to be able to be a kid.
Alex Cox:Yeah. And instead, they're, like us waking up to hear that yet another safe space has been infiltrated by a, man with a gun who hates the gays. Is there
Mattie Cox:I know there's not a way to end this positively, but is there a way to end this in a way that will direct people to somewhere?
Alex Cox:Yeah. Of course, we're going to put in the show notes the GoFundMe that has been verified as legit and is raising money for this community and the victims who we we don't know, who the victims are are yet. I
Mattie Cox:we don't Like, they haven't released it yet.
Alex Cox:Yeah. And and we don't know if that will happen. You know, that depends on if the families want that. It depends on a million things that I don't understand with, laws because, fuck cops.
Mattie Cox:I always like mentioning the Trevor Project too recently that they help trans kids. They have counseling, and recently, they've been receiving, like, the highest number of calls ever from trans kids, for support. And they're looking for, like, volunteers. So we can put that link in the show notes too.
Alex Cox:If you try to call that number and you can get through, please, please keep trying. And, also, in the US now, you can just dial 988, which is the suicide in crisis, lifeline. So instead of 911, it is 988. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, just please, you are not alone. You're if you're a kid listening to this right now, there are 2 two two people in their 30 thirties literally crying because we care about you so much.
Mattie Cox:And we wanna do everything we can to help.
Alex Cox:And even though as a community, things are worse than it has ever been in our lifetime. You and I are still a really happy family, and folks can have that if they want or or you can go off and have your polycule or be alone. Like, there's so much there's so much happiness, and I hated the, like, hashtag it gets better campaign, but it gets different. It becomes so much different, and we can continue to change things and end this bullshit.
Mattie Cox:Stay safe, and thank you for listening. This is definitely different than most of our content, but, things like this are important. It matters to you. It matters to me, and it matters to a whole bunch of other people. And if we can help one person by putting this in the world, then we've done something good.
Alex Cox:If, you know, there there's, like, a 1 in a 1000000 chance, but if you happen to be one of the folks who are at Club Q in Colorado or you are a friend or a family member or one of the victims, please know we are all here for you in your time of mourning and are going to do whatever whatever we can.
Mattie Cox:And this has been 2 Headed Girl. We will put links in the show notes for you to support the queer community around you, trans people in your lives, or just the trans community in general, we thank you for listening, and we hope you stay safe.
Alex Cox:Take care of yourselves.
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